Monday, March 19, 2012


I have extremely adorable children.

Some days I just can't help but stare at them with absolute wonder, and a tear in my eye (ok about 20 tears).  I can't help but remember the smell of their head.  I always seem to remember the first time I smelled them, new and perfect.  And then my mind goes through a series of smells, like baby lotion and rice cereal, formula (it's a love/hate), the smell of their fingers when they are putting everything in their mouths (also love/hate), the smell of that nighttime shampoo, that doesn't put them to sleep at all, but does in fact smell like a dream.  I somehow always end up at sunshine, and a little bit of dirt. 

I ENJOYED my children today.  I think I do everyday, but maybe not to the extent of today.  I enjoyed them above everything else and it was just so sweet.

We had laughter in the car.  We had a story from Shai, that ended, "and then my friend was headlighted…meaning (lightheaded)"  I almost had to pull over. 

We had homemade dinner, which included a very serious debate on why the opposite ends of asparagus are better…Chloe likes the "flowers", and Shai likes the bottom.  Chloe also told me that asparagus is healthy because it tastes like salt, and a little bit of sour. 

Shai is the "Special Student" this week in her class.  We spent our evening making a picture collage, and I got to watch them be delighted by their baby pictures.  They were laughing at memories, and at each other.  I was just taking it all in as an outsider in a still lump….trying not to bawl and just being so thankful for how blessed I am. 

I also got Shais report card today, she asked me if she got A's.  I explained to her that she doesn't get A's yet, but her report card was pretty much perfect.  It was, and she is ahead in all subjects.  I can't help but beam at her diligence, and I also can't help but flash back to the day that I cried out to Jesus that I wanted her brain. 

So I'm tucking them in, and Chloe's woobie (blanket) is out of the dryer and smells amazing, and she shouts, "I just love the warmness!"  And I just sit in between them and revel at this life I'm living. 

And then I lean over Shai, and look at her not-so-little girl face, I'm going to kiss her, but I just stare.  I can't help myself.  This is my BABY.  My baby that is so obviously not a baby.  She is still just as beautiful as the first time I saw her.  She's got a little wisdom behind those green eyes now.  I can't help it, and the tears well up.  She says, "Is something wrong, Mom?"…and I say, "You know when you see a new baby, or hold a puppy or kitten, and you almost just want to cry at how cute they are?"  And she gets it.  She pulls me down for a hug, and I tell her I love her.  And she insists that she loves me more.  She's wrong.  

Finally they are in for the night and Chloe yells emphatically, "I just want to KNOW how GOD is changing the world!!"

I'm pretty sure I know how. 

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