Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Saying it out loud

Saying it out loud.

God’s been taking me on a journey over the past couple years that is hard to put into words, but I ought to, for accountability, for remembrance, for praise.

When I was a child I wanted to be a mom.  I just did.  I knew I was made for it.  Being an actual parent will test every notion that you are any good at it.  Insert laughter here.  

So 5 years ago, I got divorced.  It’s been a whirlwind of putting one foot in front of the other, trying to pay rent, raising 2 precious girls, and seeking God for everything.  And He has been FAITHFUL.  Restoring my family, repairing my identity, providing, overcoming, uplifting, encountering, HEALING.  He has patiently changed my perspective of who He is, and humbled me to realize who I am not.  I am not in control.  I am not weak (with Him).  I am not forgotten, nor forsaken.  I am HIS.  

God is The Father.  He IS unconditional love.  To know Him is to know that love.  We are to be ambassadors and carriers of that kind of love.  I have always wanted to adopt children.  The logistics, finances, and geography that I have going in my life do not line up with this dream.  I began to think it was a vision for a very distant future, or maybe a metaphor of some kind.  Yet my soul longed and ached. 

We are to be lights of the world.  To reach out to the orphans and widows.  To help. To come alongside.  Even if we don’t know what it looks like.  Even if we can’t imagine it.  Even if we don’t know how.

I always proclaimed that I could not do foster care, because I didn’t want to give the babies back.  God encountered me at church about a year and a 1/2 ago and told me “You can’t do foster care in your own power, but THROUGH ME YOU CAN, I WILL SUSTAIN YOU.”…

God is my rock, and my safe place.  He has anointed me, and changed me, and saved me.  Alone, I cannot do a lot of things.  But by calling on HIM I can do anything He asks of me.  

So this is the beginning of this journey.  I am going to be a foster parent.  I am going to care for and protect babies and children.  I am going to befriend moms and dads, and pray for all of them.  I am going to step forth in faith.  I am going to continue to cry out to God and lean on HIM for grace and sustenance.  

And I NEED your prayers.  I need support.  I need fellowship.  Please Pray for and with my family.