Saturday, May 21, 2011

I choose LOVE.

I glanced into the mirror the other day as I was getting ready.  Something caught me off guard.  I paused, and had to take a long gaze into my reflection.  I looked different.  Prettier.  Glowy-er.  I looked into the same eyes that I have stared at for 27 years and thought, what the heck is different.  And then I just knew.  I am finally comfortable in my own skin.  I am celebrating who I am instead of who I think other people want me to be.  I am happy as me, and am ok not putting myself into someone else's mold for fear of rejection. 

Consequently, I am just finishing reading God Loves Ugly, by Christa Black.  HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.  Towards the end, she asks that you write a list of what you love about yourself.  I have actually felt a tug to do this for quite awhile, always struck with the lie that it seems so conceited…UGH LIE!  If I cannot find things that I love about the person I know the most deeply, there is a problem!  We are all worthy of loving and being loved.  And how can I love fully, if I do not start within.  I would never want a friend of mine to miss seeing how incredible they are, I would encourage them to write the longest list. 

God told me awhile ago that he was going to heal me right up.  His promises never fail. 

I love that I am a different kind of Mother than I was taught to be.
I love that I can be wildly sarcastic.
I love that my immaturity makes me relatable to children.
I love that I'm short.
I love my freckles.
I love that I am ultra romantic.
I love that I'm artistic.
I love that I take risks, even when it's hard.
I love that I proclaim my faith in Jesus.
I love that I can fail in front of people.
I love that I am open minded.
I love that I am learning how to give.
I love that I am trying to be athletic.
I love that I can be a dork.
I love my style.
I love my photography.
I love my writing.
I love that I dance for no reason.
I love that I can be a prude.
I love my feet. 

I have also felt led to just write "about myself."  Just a small summary of what makes me great.  Or unique. Or silly.  Or dumb.  Or maybe just declare some things out loud.  Whatever, here it is.

I praise God that I finally chose him back, and that he shows me his reality day by day.  I am so thankful that I was picked to parent my two precious babies.  I love that the beach heals my soul with just the sight or smell of it.  I love that I dream about romance.  I love that I have come to appreciate a minivan as my dream car.  Oh, how I swore I would not drive a minivan…oh how thankful I am to have a car.  That simple lesson is the epitome of understanding what this life is about.  Enjoy the journey you get!  Enjoy the simple things! Enjoy the trials!  Enjoy the lesson, we were made to grow…

I love that I would drop anything to dance in the rain.  I love that I can be messy, but freak out when the mess gets too big.

I love history.  Anything, or anyone with a story, a memory, or token of wisdom.  I love old movies, oh Doris Day, Cary Grant, thank you. 

I love running in grass.  I LOVE WIND.  I love really loud music.  I would read 24 hours a day if it was allowed.

I love driving, especially with the windows down.  And sometimes, at night, I turn my headlights off on a backroad, just for fun. 

I love adventure, even if there is a risk of getting hurt…or lost, or not knowing what the heck you're doing.

My preferred outfit is comfy jeans and a worn in hoodie.  As of two months ago, I feel naked without earrings. (this occurred after I poked fun at a friend who never takes hers out.)  I would live in flip flops if it was at all practical.  I believe in wearing sunscreen.

I love smelling like I've been in the sun.  So coconut and vanilla are my favorite.  Even in winter.

I love candles burning.  I love worship music blaring. I love having people over. I love boardgames. I love card games. 

I love that I get a what I call my 10th wind at midnight.  I get kooky and crazy and can keep working until 3 in the morning. 

I love that I can be extremely spicy, which sometimes includes sassy and sexy.  I love that I'm learning to embrace that, and not be scared of it. 

I love that I just said love 1500 times.  I am excited to add to this list.  And I pray that all we find more things to love about ourselves everyday. 

Of course I could write a lot of things I don't like about myself.  But guess what, I'm not going to.  I CHOOSE love.

I love my life. Amen.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Happy Mothers Day Ya-ya's

So I'm writing out Mothers Day cards.  And I start thinking of some AMAZING Mothers.  OH man, I just sit for a bit and revel in the fact that I know some rockin' women.  Powerhouses.  Fighters. Women that walk paths that have not been traveled before.  And then I think of patience, tenacity, genius, grace, and sheer will.  Which of course brings my mind to the yaya's...Lastly I think of unconditional love.  This is the thread that holds this group buttoned to the same garment. 

Carli Ray.  You are first, I think, because you have 4.  F-O-U-R.  four.  That in itself should be enough to get some kind of trophy.  I don't have a trophy.  But if I did, I promise you would be the recipient.  I really LOVE the fact that you have four wildly amazing girls, but that does not make you a great parent.  What makes you a great parent… is your tender voice that oozes patience.  The same voice that calls out the most endearing nicknames I have ever had the pleasure of hearing.  How I feel about your motherly voice is the same way I feel about your beautiful handwriting.  It is perfection.  Thank you for homeschooling your babies.  Thank you for loving them with everything in you.  Thank you for being fun.  Thank you for your faith. Thank you for being a commander of justice.  Thank you for reminding me, that to be a good parent, sometimes you have to remember being a kid.  Makes me want to run through the sprinklers. I love you. 

Carli.  What I love about you being a Mommy, is very similar to what I love about you being a friend.  And that is, that you do not waver, from being YOU.  In your presence there is always Jesus, worship music, baking, your amazing garden,  an open house, the ocean, something involving being loud or carefree.  In your presence there is a thick passion for dare and adventure.  The best part is, we don't have to leave the couch to feel it.  Thank you for naming your babies names that mean something wonderful and powerful.  Thank you for loving them before they were ever thought of.  Thank you for pollywoggin'.  Thank you for being you.  Thank you for not caring about dirt, actually encouraging it :)  Thank you for the free spirit in you, that you give freely to your kids, and mine.  I love you. 

Marcelle.  Thinking about your parenting, reminds me of watching you eat, or tell a story, or describe a situation.  Bottom line, you do it with everything in you, and you do it right.  Nothing is left out.  I love that about you, and how blessed Meira is for it.  You will have the best, but you will also have fun…and sometimes you will just downright let go of the rules.  I'll have you know, that every word in the first paragraph of this little note…applies directly to you.  The grace you have as a parent, and especially regarding this year of your life…has humbled me to the floor.  The innovation that you have shown so that Meira has the life you dream of for her, is a beautiful picture of Jesus' love in my life.  Thank you for being part hippie.  Thank you for being organic.  Thank you for having style.  Thank you for being selfless.  Thank you for loving the simple things.  Thank you for being the one that bought a kid leash.  I love you.

Quite honestly, I probably could have written 3 novels….describing what I love about you as Mothers, and friends. 

But I really just want to say that you inspire, motivate, and capture me.  Happy Mothers Day.