I glanced into the mirror the other day as I was getting ready. Something caught me off guard. I paused, and had to take a long gaze into my reflection. I looked different. Prettier. Glowy-er. I looked into the same eyes that I have stared at for 27 years and thought, what the heck is different. And then I just knew. I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I am celebrating who I am instead of who I think other people want me to be. I am happy as me, and am ok not putting myself into someone else's mold for fear of rejection.
Consequently, I am just finishing reading God Loves Ugly, by Christa Black. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. Towards the end, she asks that you write a list of what you love about yourself. I have actually felt a tug to do this for quite awhile, always struck with the lie that it seems so conceited…UGH LIE! If I cannot find things that I love about the person I know the most deeply, there is a problem! We are all worthy of loving and being loved. And how can I love fully, if I do not start within. I would never want a friend of mine to miss seeing how incredible they are, I would encourage them to write the longest list.
God told me awhile ago that he was going to heal me right up. His promises never fail.
I love that I am a different kind of Mother than I was taught to be.
I love that I can be wildly sarcastic.
I love that my immaturity makes me relatable to children.
I love that I'm short.
I love my freckles.
I love that I am ultra romantic.
I love that I'm artistic.
I love that I take risks, even when it's hard.
I love that I proclaim my faith in Jesus.
I love that I can fail in front of people.
I love that I am open minded.
I love that I am learning how to give.
I love that I am trying to be athletic.
I love that I can be a dork.
I love my style.
I love my photography.
I love my writing.
I love that I dance for no reason.
I love that I can be a prude.
I love my feet.
I have also felt led to just write "about myself." Just a small summary of what makes me great. Or unique. Or silly. Or dumb. Or maybe just declare some things out loud. Whatever, here it is.
I praise God that I finally chose him back, and that he shows me his reality day by day. I am so thankful that I was picked to parent my two precious babies. I love that the beach heals my soul with just the sight or smell of it. I love that I dream about romance. I love that I have come to appreciate a minivan as my dream car. Oh, how I swore I would not drive a minivan…oh how thankful I am to have a car. That simple lesson is the epitome of understanding what this life is about. Enjoy the journey you get! Enjoy the simple things! Enjoy the trials! Enjoy the lesson, we were made to grow…
I love that I would drop anything to dance in the rain. I love that I can be messy, but freak out when the mess gets too big.
I love history. Anything, or anyone with a story, a memory, or token of wisdom. I love old movies, oh Doris Day, Cary Grant, thank you.
I love running in grass. I LOVE WIND. I love really loud music. I would read 24 hours a day if it was allowed.
I love driving, especially with the windows down. And sometimes, at night, I turn my headlights off on a backroad, just for fun.
I love adventure, even if there is a risk of getting hurt…or lost, or not knowing what the heck you're doing.
My preferred outfit is comfy jeans and a worn in hoodie. As of two months ago, I feel naked without earrings. (this occurred after I poked fun at a friend who never takes hers out.) I would live in flip flops if it was at all practical. I believe in wearing sunscreen.
I love smelling like I've been in the sun. So coconut and vanilla are my favorite. Even in winter.
I love candles burning. I love worship music blaring. I love having people over. I love boardgames. I love card games.
I love that I get a what I call my 10th wind at midnight. I get kooky and crazy and can keep working until 3 in the morning.
I love that I can be extremely spicy, which sometimes includes sassy and sexy. I love that I'm learning to embrace that, and not be scared of it.
I love that I just said love 1500 times. I am excited to add to this list. And I pray that all we find more things to love about ourselves everyday.
Of course I could write a lot of things I don't like about myself. But guess what, I'm not going to. I CHOOSE love.
I love my life. Amen.