What we are, what we think we should be, and what we are called to be are not the same thing. I will never be 5'9. Maybe if I wear stilts…bad idea. Another bad idea: putting my dreams, heart, aspirations, and hope in a box they don't fit in, or better yet, a box that doesn't belong to me. What other people want me to be, or what I think they want me to be is not what God has designed me to be.
God has been talking to me about reality. Woah. God's reality. It looks like nothing I've seen before.
No keeping up with the Joneses here. No fake. No facade. No lies. NO LIES (that's the most liberating, scary statement) I grew up with lies as friends. Lying to myself that I was good enough (I know now that I really am.) The lie that everything was ok. Lies to make myself look better, or feel better. Even at the cost of hurting someone. Goodbye lies, I don't need you anymore.
There's this cry in our spirit. It's, um, our spirit. So many of us are taught to ignore it, mistreat it, deny it, abuse it. Talk about nurture vs. nature. My parents didn't learn how to listen to their spirit…so they had a really hard time teaching me how to. That's ok, I'm learning quickly.
I was designed for a purpose. I always knew it. I knew it as a small child. Nobody told me though. I was loved, but not designed for a purpose.
I was loved. I really was. I really am. And I love back. But I want to love with no strings attached. Love to the end of the earth and beyond that into the clouds. I want to love past expectation, and beyond my wildest dream. I want to love over doubt, love ugly, love without the boundary that I will get anything out of it.
Because my spirit was created for it. I was designed to be set apart. We all were. And I am choosing it.
So here I am. Saying it out loud. Well, actually, I'm writing it, but it feels like I'm declaring it to the world. Hello spirit. I'm so excited to wake you all the way up with my friend Jesus.