Tuesday, August 16, 2011
What I know for sure.
I don't want to sound like a cheesy poem, but are you living like it's your last day?
Are you living like you don't have a lot of days left.
If that were the case, I'd be living a whole lot more. Insert the cheesy bumper sticker I can't get out of my head: "The meaning of life is to live it."
I'm pretty impressed that I choose my kids over petty things, and dance in the rain (literally), and stop to smell the air, or just look up at the sky. I have close friends. I love my family.
Here comes the convicting part that I don't want to write, or say out loud, or even think about quite frankly.
Am I honoring the people I love in my life. Am I living for them, chasing after them, forgiving them…asking them to forgive me.
hmmm…not always. I'm learning. But the answer is a definite no.
So here is what I declare today:
Precious Jesus, I don't care how broken I have to get if I get to feel you pick up the pieces. I would rather be pushed to a desperation that makes me drop everything and sit with you in my bed, or shout to you in my car, or proclaim you in the streets. I don't want this life that I'm used to anymore. Where broken hearts are left untended and hanging all about. You make beautiful things. You give beauty for ashes.
I trust you with my kids.
I trust you with my family.
I trust you with my life.
I trust you with my finances.
I trust you with and for my future husband.
I trust you with my path.
I trust you with my heart.
and oh, how I want yours. How I want your heart for your people. How I want your eyes. How I want your will.
You are making me new.
Thank you for that. Thank you thank you thank you.
You are good. good good good. And I know that for sure.