Tuesday, August 16, 2011

What I know for sure.

Do you ever wonder if you are going to look back at your life and wish you would have chosen differently. 

I don't want to sound like a cheesy poem, but are you living like it's your last day?

Are you living like you don't have a lot of days left. 

I'm not.

If that were the case, I'd be living a whole lot more.  Insert the cheesy bumper sticker I can't get out of my head: "The meaning of life is to live it."

I'm pretty impressed that I choose my kids over petty things, and dance in the rain (literally), and stop to smell the air, or just look up at the sky.  I have close friends.  I love my family.

Here comes the convicting part that I don't want to write, or say out loud, or even think about quite frankly.

Am I honoring the people I love in my life.  Am I living for them, chasing after them, forgiving them…asking them to forgive me.

hmmm…not always.  I'm learning.  But the answer is a definite no.

So here is what I declare today:

Precious Jesus, I don't care how broken I have to get if I get to feel you pick up the pieces.  I would rather be pushed to a desperation that makes me drop everything and sit with you in my bed, or shout to you in my car, or proclaim you in the streets.  I don't want this life that I'm used to anymore.  Where broken hearts are left untended and  hanging all about.  You make beautiful things.  You give beauty for ashes. 

I trust you with my kids.

I trust you with my family.

I trust you with my life.

I trust you with my finances.

I trust you with and for my future husband.

I trust you with my path.

I trust you with my heart.

and oh, how I want yours.  How I want your heart for your people.  How I want your eyes.  How I want your will. 

You are making me new.

Thank you for that.  Thank you thank you thank you.

You are good. good good good. And I know that for sure.

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