Thursday, June 23, 2011

His Favorites.

Healing tears are the best kind.  Can I get an Amen.  They feel so much hotter and wetter than all the other ones.  I always feel like they spill down my face instead of just fall quietly.  I think they feel like that because they are literally washing the pain away.  I used to fight crying with a mad defiance.  Now, I open my arms wide to embrace my healing tears.  I finally realize that they are a gift.

I've been praying a lot lately about reverence.  I've had some pretty big favors to ask Jesus, and I just wanted to check in to make sure I was asking the right way, or if I was allowed to ask at all. 

Consequently, Chloe would not go to bed tonight.  She just kept coming out quietly, and sweetly, and peering at me with those endless eyelashes batting.  She had this simple, humble little look on her face…tugging at me and asking me to hold her.  She wasn't being mischievous, or stalling (things she is for sure capable of).  She just wanted a little more Mommy time.  My initial instinct the second I heard the hard wood creaking, was to threaten a spanking and send her on her way.  But I saw that face, and I knew to hold her and rock her, kiss her forehead, and whisper in her ear.  These are MY FAVORITE moments.  I would trade anything for them. Anything.  Sweet baby in your arms…just wanting a moment.  There is nothing in the world like it. 

So Chloe goes to bed.  And I ask.  Am I allowed to ask for this much healing? Am I allowed to ask for this much redemption? Am I too much. 

And I'm pretty sure he smiled.  Just like I did when I saw Chloe's innocent face. 

He showed me a very little me (yes smaller than I actually am)…tugging on his beautiful, enormous robe.  And he peered down at me, with the love only a Father could have.  Ask away. 

When we yearn to be closer.  When we ask for a little more Daddy time.  These are HIS FAVORITE moments. 

2 comments:

  1. Beautiful, Kara! You evoke so much in your writing and I love it!!

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