Friday, April 22, 2011


Disclaimer: I have not been in a relationship with my Mom, Stepdad, and my brother in over 6 years.  My brother is 15.  Severed is a good word to describe us.  The brother part was not by choice.  So here's part of my day...   

Restoration is on my mind.  It is amazing what can happen when we let God be big.  I consider myself beyond blessed that I have some very wise people in my life.  People that guide me, encourage me, and sometimes just flat out call me on my crap.  

Today started with breakfast with some of my favorites.  These mornings are filled with a constant love.  One that you walk into.  It engulfs you when you walk in the door, and you are free to be whatever or whoever you want to be, and whatever that may be…you will be loved.  You will be loved in your weakness, in your strength, and everything in between.  The only unwritten condition is that you love back.  And when it comes to these ladies…boy do I. 

So restoration.  Later in the day, I was driving through the place I grew up in.  My friend needed a ride to pick up a car.  I happened to drive by my Step Fathers truck at a creek that we frequented as children (this has not happened in 6 years, it was completely out of the blue).  I instantly thought of my little brother, who I'm not allowed to speak to.  My mind fluttered with thoughts of the last time I got to see him, hug him, play with him.  Then my mind wandered over to the love-fest breakfast.  Oh and that wisdom just hit.  I long to see him, I miss him, I love him.  I don't know how to go about that.  That's ok…someone else has bigger plans…(I do not know what they are yet ;).  But I trust him.  I will pray for messengers…a token I learned from breakfast…

My mind then wandered to my adorable sister calling me last night to re-enact one of our late night past times as kids.  Her call was just a sweet reminder of our little inside jokes.  That there are some things only sisters share.  That our bond started a long time ago…and without us really knowing it.  Here's the epiphany….My bond started with my brother the same way…a long time ago, without me knowing it.  But it is there.  And it is strong.  And I don't care what he's been hearing for the past 6 years, I know he remembers it too. 

So today, I will trust.  I will not believe the lie that things are beyond repair.  I will believe that the price was already paid for restoration, and it was the biggest price.  And will have faith that God will bring us back, and make us better.

My dear friend also prayed for me tonight, and gave me this scripture…I say amen :)

Joel: 2:25  " I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you."

He restores YEARS, and he restores GREAT DAMAGE…yup, amen.


  1. oh man, your blogs always give me chills I really hope that someday light will shine on the truth and you are given the opportunity to reunite with him and it will be as if no time has passed between you too.